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I love helping people to help themselves through difficult times. Relationships, abuse, shame, low self-worth and anxiety. I also have experience with Abuse, Anger management, Anxiety, Bereavement, Business coaching, Cancer, Career coaching, Child related issues, Coaching supervision, Depression, Domestic violence, Eating disorders, Health related issues, Identity issues, Life coaching, Loss, Men’s issues, Obsessions, OCD, Personal development, Post-traumatic stress, Relationships, Self esteem, Self-harm, Sexual identity, Sexuality, Spirituality, Stress, Trauma, Women’s issues, Work related issues.

It can be hard to make the first move in seeking help but remember you have got this far and it will get easier. I can work with you and support your journey. I am working online via zoom or over the telephone. The most important part of the counselling process is the ability to gain and maintain a professional relationship based on trust, safety & without judgments. I believe that this in turn allows for growth and development with any area of concern to you; no counsellor has all the answers or can give anybody an immediate solution – we work together to uncover the best way forward based on tried and tested therapy techniques.

Click on the links below to explore how we can help:

Anxiety

Depression

Personality Disorder

Sexual Violence

Stress

Bereavement

Domestic Violence

PTSD

Self Harm

Suicidal Feelings

What is Anxiety?

Anxiety is an emotion characterized by an unpleasant state of inner turmoil, often accompanied by nervous behavior, such as pacing back and forth, somatic complaints and rumination. It is the subjectively unpleasant feelings of dread over anticipated events, such as the feeling of imminent death. Anxiety is not the same as fear, which is a response to a real or perceived immediate threat; whereas anxiety is the expectation of future threat. Anxiety is a feeling of fear, uneasiness, and worry, usually generalized and unfocused as an overreaction to a situation that is only subjectively seen as menacing. It is often accompanied by muscular tension, restlessness, fatigue and problems in concentration. Anxiety can be appropriate, but when experienced regularly the individual may suffer from an anxiety disorder.

Anxiety need not be a lifelong condition which defines you.

With the right guidance you will soon understand how to think about things slightly differently and begin to enjoy new perspectives in which anxiety plays no part.

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What is Bereavement?

1. A state of sorrow over the death or departure of a loved one
 

2. Bereavement comes from an Old English word that means “rob,” “deprive,” and “seize.” When a loved one is taken, usually through death, those who remain are often left in a state of bereavement. Bereavement is not only reserved for the death of a human family member or friend, but the loss of a pet can also induce bereavement.

source vocabulary.com

It’s perfectly normal to feel a dreadful sense of loss sometimes.

With the right guidance you will soon understand how to think about things slightly differently and learn how to let go gradually.

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What is Depression?

1. A mental state characterized by a pessimistic sense of inadequacy and a despondent lack of activity
source – vocabulary.com
 
2. Depression is a state of low mood and aversion to activity that can affect a person’s thoughts, behavior, feelings and sense of well-being.[1][2] People with depressed mood can feel sad, anxious, empty, hopeless, helpless, worthless, guilty, irritable, ashamed or restless. They may lose interest in activities that were once pleasurable, experience loss of appetite or overeating, have problems concentrating, remembering details or making decisions, and may contemplate, attempt or commit suicide. Insomnia, excessive sleeping, fatigue, aches, pains, digestive problems or reduced energy may also be present.

source – wikipedia

First we will explore the reason you are depressed

With a structured programme of therapy based on traditional counselling combined with the latest CBT techniques we will work together to eliminate the root causes of your depression. With CBT a course of therapy will take either eight or twelve weeks and we will decide this at the beginning because it determines the structure of the therapy.

Contrary to what you might be expecting, most subjects find the therapy extremely interesting and revealing about themselves and they start to feel better almost immediately.

Don’t put it off any longer – life is far too short to waste any of it being unhappy!

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What is Domestic violence?

Domestic violence (also domestic abuse, spousal abuse, intimate partner violence, battering, or family violence) is a pattern of behavior which involves violence or other abuse by one person against another in a domestic setting, such as in marriage or cohabitation. Intimate partner violence (IPV) is violence by a spouse or partner in an intimate relationship against the other spouse or partner. Domestic violence can take place in heterosexual and same-sex family relationships, and can involve violence against children in the family.
 

source – Wikipedia

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Domestic violence often leads to issues relating to low personal self-worth and self-esteem.

Psychotherapy has a number of different approaches to help you build on your feelings of self-worth and self-esteem. I can help you to acknowledge your emotions and feelings to help you to feel less helpless and powerless. In time I will encourage you to be more caring about yourself rather than continuing to punish yourself for something that was never your fault.

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What is Personality Disorder?

Personality disorders are a class of mental disorders characterized by enduring maladaptive patterns of behavior, cognition, and inner experience, exhibited across many contexts and deviating markedly from those accepted by the individual’s culture. These patterns develop early, are inflexible, and are associated with significant distress or disability. The definitions may vary somewhat, according to source.

Personality, defined psychologically, is the set of enduring behavioral and mental traits that distinguish human beings. Hence, personality disorders are defined by experiences and behaviors that differ from societal norms and expectations. Those diagnosed with a personality disorder may experience difficulties in cognition, emotiveness, interpersonal functioning, or impulse control. In general, personality disorders are diagnosed in 40–60 percent of psychiatric patients, making them the most frequent of all psychiatric diagnoses.

source – Wikipedia

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There is light at the end of the tunnel!

Many people consider that personality disorders are difficult to treat because they involve such deeply rooted patterns of thoughts, feelings and ways of relating to others.

But personality disorders often improve as you get older. This suggests that as you gain life experience and mature you learn better ways of relating to others, gain better understanding of your responses and reactions to people and events, and learn to manage things better. Successful treatments aim to help you make this happen by focusing on the way you think and behave, how to control your emotions, developing successful relationships and getting more out of life.

With compassionate counselling which helps you to learn to understand yourself better, you will also learn how to recognise when things aren’t good so you can warn people, ask for help more easily, and put some coping mechanisms into place.

In most cases we will soon be able to take a lighter look at things and learn to joke about them. Once you laugh, mostly it doesn’t hurt so much any more.

source – Mind

I have received comprehensive training in this area and have already helped a number of people from different backgrounds. I can almost certainly help you too.

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What is PTSD?

If you are involved in or witness a traumatic event, it is common to experience upsetting, distressing or confusing feelings afterwards. The feelings of distress may not emerge straight away – you may just feel emotionally numb at first. After a while you may develop emotional and physical reactions, such as feeling easily upset or not being able to sleep.

This is understandable, and many people find that these symptoms disappear in a relatively short period of time. But if your problems last for longer than a month, or are very extreme, you may be given a diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

There’s no time limit on distress, and some people may not develop post-traumatic symptoms until many years after the event. Additionally, not everyone who has experienced a traumatic event develops PTSD.

source – Mind

Every case is different…

Because the cause of an indicidual’s PTSD varies depending on their individual circumstances the direction that the counselling will take can’t be decided in advance. I have extensive training in a number of areas which can help sufferers to come to terms with their issues and in time alleviate the symptoms.

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What is Sexual Violence?

Sexual violence is any sexual act or attempt to obtain a sexual act by violence or coercion, unwanted sexual comments or advances, acts to traffic a person or acts directed against a person’s sexuality, regardless of the relationship to the victim. It is considered to be one of the most traumatic, pervasive, and most common human rights violations.

Sexual violence is a serious public health problem and has a profound short or long-term impact on physical and mental health, such as an increased risk of sexual and reproductive health problems or an increased risk of suicide or HIV infection. Though women and girls suffer disproportionately from these aspects, sexual violence can occur to anybody at any age; it is an act of violence that can be perpetrated by parents, caregivers, acquaintances and strangers, as well as intimate partners. It is rarely a crime of passion, and is rather an aggressive act that frequently aims to express power and dominance over the victim.

source – Wikipedia

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I have helped dozens of sufferers over the last few years.

I have a lot of experience to draw on from working with people of all ages and both sexes. With empathic guidance you can soon find out how to improve your mental state and come to terms with your situation.

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What is Self Harm?

Self-harm (SH) or deliberate self-harm (DSH) includes self-injury (SI) and self-poisoning and is defined as the intentional, direct injuring of one’s own body, most often done without suicidal intentions.

The most common form of self-harm is skin-cutting but self-harm also covers a wide range of behaviors including, but not limited to, burning, scratching, banging or hitting body parts, interfering with wound healing (dermatillomania), hair-pulling (trichotillomania) and the ingestion of toxic substances or objects. Behaviours associated with substance abuse and eating disorders are usually not considered self-harm because the resulting tissue damage is ordinarily an unintentional side effect.

source – Wikipedia

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Once you get into a cycle of self-harming, it can be difficult to stop. Getting professional support can help you make changes. 

Counselling and psychotherapy have been shown to be very helpful for people who self-harm. Counselling offers you space and time to talk about your feelings in a safe, non-judgmental and confidential setting.

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What is Stress?

We all know what it’s like to feel stressed, but it’s not easy to pin down exactly what stress means. When we say things like “this is stressful” or “I’m stressed”, we might be talking about:
1. Situations or events that put pressure on us – for example, times where we have lots to do and think about, or don’t have much control over what happens.
2. Our reaction to being placed under pressure – the feelings we get when we have demands placed on us that we find difficult to cope with.

It’s overwhelming. Sometimes you can’t see beyond the thick fog of stress.

There’s no medical definition of stress, and healthcare professionals often disagree over whether stress is the cause of problems or the result of them. This can make it difficult for you to work out what causes your feelings of stress, or how to deal with them.

source – Mind

Many people think that stress is a way of life which can’t be changed, and it’s “just the way they’re made!”

However this is certainly not the case and like many problems once you sit down and deal with it rationally there are plenty of well-established techniques which can help to improve your situation.

Whatever your personal definition of stress is, it’s likely that you can learn to manage your stress better by

  • managing external pressures, so stressful situations don’t seem to happen to you quite so often
  • developing your emotional resilience, so you’re better at coping with tough situations when they do happen and don’t feel quite so stressed

I can help you to embrace these concepts and the result should be a much happier life for you in almost no time at all!

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About suicidal feelings

Suicidal feelings can be terrifying. If you can no longer see why you should go on living, your feelings can seem unbearable. You may hate yourself and believe that you are useless and not wanted or needed by anyone. You may feel rage, shame and guilt.

If you have had many painful experiences, particularly losses, you may blame yourself and feel that somehow it is all your fault and that you are a failure. You may feel overwhelmed; for example, by conflicts with family or friends. You may feel stuck in emotional pain and believe that there are no solutions to your problems.

If you feel powerless and that you can’t change your situation and what is distressing you, the idea of suicide may give you a sense of being in control again. Depending on your beliefs, you could see ‘nothingness’, being reunited with loved ones or reincarnation as a relief and your preferred option.

source – Mind

We can help you whenever you’re ready.

Talking treatments such as counselling can help you make sense of your feelings and explore ways to deal with what you are going through.

The aim is to help you find your own solutions, rather than giving you advice or telling you what to do. Many people find that talking to a person who is trained to listen can help release tension, and also help them view their difficulties in a different way. This can make it easier to see new options and solutions.

Give yourself a chance. Yes, rational thought is difficult if not impossible when you’re that low, but tell yourself that there are no second chances. Once you’ve killed yourself, there is no way back. That thought may save your life.

Why not make a booking now while it’s fresh in your mind

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